You might think it's easy to be the worst person you can be; talk down to people, think you are better than others, or just simply ignore everyone around you. No, it's not easy at all. Actually, it takes skill, determination, and an 8 step plan to become the worst person you can be. Follow these guidelines and I guarantee the outcome will be priceless.
1. Create Your Own World- Though this step seems simple, it may prove to be more difficult if you are one of the unlucky ones without a stand out imagination. Fret not, to create your own world all you really need to do is block out the one you already live in. This may take a month or so, but slowly you will completely ignore whats happening around you and rest comfortably in your own state of mind.
2. Fake a Career- Now that you are living securely in your own world, it's time to get out there and get that career you always wanted but were never good enough to have, or to lazy to achieve. Realize that the job that you currently have is not good enough to brag about. You need something that suits you better. Maybe you are a famous poet and have been published all along the coast; the coast of what is not important (that is covered in Step 3). Don't forget, choose a career that you can speak of with 100% confidence. No one will believe you if you don't believe yourself.
3. Location, Location, Location- It will never matter where you live, because when you are talking to someone the one thing that you must remember to say is, "It was when I was living in (fill in the city/state) when that happened." This will prove you to be continental and learned. The more places that you have lived, the better. Hence, move around, a lot, if you can, if not get on the net and start reading.
4. Know Your Surroundings- Make sure that you are talking up all the right people. Every where you go there will be someone that will listen to you, make sure you find them. Make yourself look well rounded and near perfection to as many people as you possibly can. This is all part of making people not only like you, but talk about you to other people. Be a human social network.
5. Be The Bad Guy- No one likes a "do-gooder." Make sure you are the one in the crowd that points out the negative in ever situation. It is best to do so in a satirical or comedic manner as to not hurt peoples feelings, right away. When you have mastered this you will have all the control to hurt as many peoples feelings as desired, all while still having people listen and love you; which leads to step number six.
6. Make Them Love You- The easiest thing to do is make someone hate, whereas the hardest thing to do is make someone love. So, do your best to make most people love you, and then let the rest of them hate you. You do need a small group of people to dislike you all together. This will not only make you feel superior but you will begin to make others think you are superior.
7. Take Over Everything- Leave no stone untouched. You need to be the center of attention no matter the place or situation. Make sure that everyone near you, and those that are not, know that you are there and that you should be listened to. Making people pay attention to you is something that should be very important in this journey.
8. End Game- Take everything you've learned, and worked for, and shove it in everyone's faces. Tell everyone how great you are! Belittle them, teach them lessons they never knew they wanted to learn. Speak off subject and make your listeners believe they are lost due to the fact they are stupid. Rise above the masses with little regard to anyone around you.
If you follow these steps I garauntee, you will be the worst version of yourself! It's easy to do and often we are doing it without even taking notice.
Of course, you may not want to be the worst person you can be. You may want to be the best. I wish I could help but at this moment I do not have a list for that. Yet, as soon as I figure it out, the list will be posted.
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