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Sunday, September 28, 2014

Little Gittle: The Sarah Silverman Story

Robin, Howard, and guest Sarah are all singing about wetting the bed and singing.  Their voices echo through the studio and into the car that I am in.  They speak of vapes and smoking pot...a past time of many, showering with your mother as a child, being Jewish and naming babies.  It was a great interview. I found it so amusing that I decided to write a post about the childhood of famous comedian Sarah Silverman.

Disclaimer: I'm just having a bit of fun.  That's all I have to say.

Sarah Silverman, born Gittle Shimmel, was a misunderstood young Consevative  Jewish girl growing up in an all reform neighborhood.  She and her sister Yentle, stood out like two matzoh balls in a bowl of borscht; they wore dark colors and coverings on their head.The reform kids, on the other hand, wore neon colors, sweaters made of new hybrid fabrics, and stone washed jeans.  Some of them even wore the new penny loafers. 

Side note: the two sisters chose to wear these clothes, their parents were not Orthodox by any means...Gittel was a special child and had a wild imagination not to mention a great influence over her sister.  In reality, Yentle was not even her sisters real name. Gittle was very angry at her parents for naming her little sister Laura while she was stuck with Gittle.

One day Gittle sat Laura down and told her "the truth" about her "real" name.  The story is said to go like this;  Gittle convinced Laura that the name her parents called her was simply a nickname.  She went on to say that her mother and father would call her Laura because her real name was copywriten by Barbra Streind and they were tired of paying Ms. Streisand's royalties every time someone said her name.  Gittle protested that Luara stand up for her rights to be called by her real name, Yentle.

So, to the Shimmel sisters, it seemed as if the reform Jews had it all.  It was said that the Silvermans down the street had already gotten cable...that meant only one thing; adult programming and Comic Relief was only a haftorah away.  Little Gittle was determined to fit in with the others and watch cable; but first she'd have to figure out how to get into the Silvermans house. She knew exactly what to do: dress like them ask to come in and the she would figure it out from there.  Oh, and of course, change her name.  The name change wasn't necessary, just an added bonus to her plan.

Through much research and Encyclopedia Britanica editions, Gittle came up with the perfct name: Sarah, which meant princess.  She believed one day it would happen so why not get the ball rolling.  Two days later, the night before Shabbat, Sarah and Yentle snuck to the local Clovers to buy the perfect outfit to wear to infiltrated the Silvermans.

Sarah and Yentl were lucky that evening.  Their parents were next door preparing dinner for the following evening because their oven was broken.  Meanwhile, the girls found the perfect outfit, rushed home, his the clothes in the garage, then ran upstairs and jumped into bed.  The timer on the brisket hadn't even gone off by the time the girls settled in.

The very next day little Sarah was ready.  Nothing was gonna stop her.  She walked down the street and around the corner in her stone was jeans, penny loafers and flashy neon sweater and knocked on the door. Sarah waited for someone from the Silverman household to answer the door.  She grew impatient and began ringing the door bell over and over and over and over and over again. She did this with a smile on her face and her ponytails flopping up and down as she swung her head from side to side. The door opened and before the man at the door could say anything, Sarah walked right in.

The Silvermans that lived in that house were never heard from again. Some say that Little Gittle
drove them madd with questions about how to be a reform Jew and how to work the cable remote, so
they ran away never to return. Others say they are still there but buried under the house.

While no one actually knows what happens to the Silvermans....there is one thing we know for sure, Sarah's last name its Shimmel anymore? Is it?

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